These last few days have been really rough me. Well this past month has. Since starting school and my exercise regimen my life has been super busy and stressful. I have so much on my plate, I swear I have no idea how I do it all. Juggling being a stay at home mom, student, girlfriend, vlogger on youtube, cleaning, cooking, laundry, exercising, have somewhat of a social list, etc. I just got stressed listing all of those things lol. Point is that I'm stressed, overwhelmed, and "edgy" lately.
Lately I've been focusing a lot on the negativity and "haters" in my life on Youtube. I've realized that. I put quotes around haters because I really dislike that word, mostly just the people who want to say bad things about me and say rude things to me. I have gotten a lot of subscribers the past few months, which I'm extremely grateful for, but at the same time a lot of negativity has came with it.
I always ask myself "Britney why do you care so much about what people say about you?" "Why do you always feel the need to defend yourself?" "Why can't you just ignore them?" I think it's honestly human nature. Humans want to be liked and they want acceptance from other people. I'm only human and I have feelings. I think some people think just because I'm on Youtube I'm suppose to "ignore" the negativity, but honestly it's so easy for them to say that because they aren't in my shoes. Whenever I feel like someone is questioning my parenting, saying lies about me, beind rude with me, etc. I feel compelled to defend myself and say the truth.
If I have been snappy, defensive, rude, etc. with anyone I'm very sorry for that. I know it's not an excuse but I have had just so much going on that I'm trying to balance everything right now. That's not the person I am AT ALL. Yes if you cross me I'm not going to be the nicest person ever, but for the most part I'm a happy, nice, caring, loving, positive, and patient person, and that's the Britney I've always been. Just not lately, and I hate that.
My family means the world to me and I consider all my viewers, subscribers, fans, etc. whatever you want to call it, my family. You all are part of me life and always will be, and you have changed me in so many ways. So if anyone has been offended by me lately, I'm truly sorry and I really didn't mean it.
I am going to wrap this up now because it has gotten pretty long. But pretty much what I want to say now is that I'm committed to saying goodbye to all the negativity and I strive to be the best mother and person I can be. I'm only 19 and I'm still learning everyday as I go. I make mistakes. I say and do things I regret. I'm not perfect. I know that not everyone is going to like me, but me feeding into the negativity doesn't help AT ALL. From here on out I am staying on the positive side. I'm going to focus on the things that really matter in life, my family, friends, school, and all of you. If any of you see me commenting on anything negative you need to say "Hey Britney! Cut it out. Stop answering to all the negativity!" *Virtual slap* Lol! But seriously I write all this straight from the heart and I hope all of you understand and can forgive me for how I have been acting lately.
From now you will see the happy and positive Britney that I used to be! No more giving the negativity attention and no more defensiveness. I love you all and thank you SO MUCH for continuing on this journey with me! *Muah!*
-Love Always, Britney!